October 16, 2006
Life
was tough
at our house last week when our goldfish of three years passed
away. It was the first time our 4-year-old
has experienced any real loss.
Telling her that "Baby Nemo" wasn't going
to get better was really hard for her to understand and even
harder for me to explain! As with most dilemmas I
have, I looked towards iVillage for help. I found articles
about helping
children understand loss, and read how other members
coped with the loss of a beloved pet. I also received
some wonderful advice and a great deal of support from the members
of the Pet
Bereavement board. Reading their experiences really made
me feel better about talking to my daughter and helping her to
understand.
In
the end, we told her as honestly and simply as we could that her
fish had become very old and sick then
died.
She then
came along and helped as we performed a proper
fish burial at sea by way of the bathroom commode.
There have been quite a few tears shed --
most memorably was when we passed the pet aisle at
the grocery store, causing another shopper to stoop down to
give Gracie a hug
-- and some talk about Baby Nemo swimming around in
the ocean somewhere (which, I'm embarrassed to admit, I haven't
exactly discouraged).
For the most part,
however, she seems to
be taking it all very well. She's pretty sure
she doesn't want another goldfish, content with still having her dog
and two cats to love and care for. And in an utterly sweet
and wise-beyond-her-years moment, she told me that "I'll
always have my fish with me, because he's still in my heart!"
Whether
your pet is furry, feathered
or of the aquatic variety, be sure to give them some extra love
today. =)
Amanda
Community Moderator
Pregnancy & Parenting
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